Where do we go from here?

I've been here a little over two weeks and am loving it. I don't know if I mentioned but I work at a children's book publishing firm. And since all our books are being released TODAY my main task this week has been to read delightful little children's books, and write press releases telling people why they are so great. I don't need to tell you that it's been really fun? I'm enjoying myself a lot, got my own little office--a bit minimalist so far but will be adding personal touches soon. We're right next to the St. Lawrence Market which is splendid, as this is one of my favourite parts of town. I sometimes go shopping there and pretend I'm one of those chefs on TV and buy little bits of everything that will be included in the dinner I will cook that night. We have fun, me and my fantasies.

In the home front,t hings are not so jolly. One of my roomies are graduating (lucky thing) this May, and Momi is looking for a job (which she requires to graduate) and which may take her to any corner of Canada or the world. So we're kind of in a bind--we might be splitting up. And since the past 4 years has seen me living with a dozen diffeent people (I'm not exaggerating) I'm kind of sick of adjusting my life to new roommates. To make a long story short, I am considering living on my own come this May. I'm torn, because it will probably be lonely. I had also been looking forward to living with Momi, and if this ends up happening I'm really going to miss our cooking fests, our evenings of men-bashing, and looking out for each other because we've been the closest thing to family to each other. I am also half-excited at the prospect though, because it would mean having my OWN space (my own kitchen! oh my) to do with as I please. To clean (or not clean) whenever the hell I want. To play sitar at the break of dawn--I am convinced that the only way I will get any riyaz done is if I do it before I go to work; it worked last summer and I'm sure I could do it again. The problem is to find something that suits my budget and isn't in a prostitute and dealer infested area--this will prove hard if I decide to do it. I'm dubious, scared. I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know what I want. I really don't know what to do.