the world is painted crimson because of you
So, i made a list of things i had to get done today. Did all the things that involved not being at home, sometimes i really hate housework so i'm letting the dishes pile up.
If it wasn't for the godsent Rainbow Cinemas, and their unbelievably cheap movies, I'd have a very boring social life. Saw The Stepford Wives today, and I liked it a lot -- I usually can't stand Bette Midler but I kind of liked her in this one. I wasn't expecting it to be such a funny movie.
Bought Macromedia Studio MX for Dummies in order to further my goal of making the SitarSchool website something that we can be proud of!
I realize that I have something that many people don't: I've found something that I care deeply for and which gives a purpose/meaning to my life. Something that I'm just innately good at, something I feel I was born to do -- sitar. With that comes about a couple of different considerations:
1. Indian Classical Music is deeply rooted and entwined with a culture that goes back centuries. This requires utmost devotion/passion/commitment/humility on the student's part. not just in practising your instrument, but being someone your teacher can count on to do anything -- from cleaning his washroom to arranging concerts, because that is a testament to how much you care for the music.
2. my teacher (who is one of the greatest, most giving, and wonderful people I have ever had the fortune of meeting -- how big hearted this guy is, sometimes scares me and makes me want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him) Anwar's dream is to establish a school that upholds the centuries old traditions, and make it possible for people in north america to learn our music the way it is meant to be learnt. this is where i come in [along with a couple of others who spend endless hours doing work for SSOT even though we don't have time for it!!] -- Sitar is not a hobby for me, it's part of who I am. So along with that, helping with the growth of SitarSchool is a lifelong commitment which factors into everything that I see myself doing in the future. such as:
3. i don't want to leave toronto because this is where SitarSchool is located and this is where Ustadji comes every year.
4. how am i going to balance a life that includes marriage, kids, a career AND music? as i grow older and my dreams grow and i find more and more things that i want to do, i'm forced to stand back and be realistic -- because i think it's more important to have done fewer things, but doing them the best I possibly can.
5. From the beginning, and even now, I do NOT want to make music the means of my livelihood. BUt will that change as my dedication and commitment grows? if so, where does that put everything/everybody else?
posted by goBgoB at 8:07 p.m.
3 Comments:
Gawd Ipshi - this is amazing!Loved this blog. I am so happy that you found your esssence, as it were. Plenty of us are just mucking through life, so it's really heartening and inspiring to hear that this sort of self-discovery, I guess IS possible :) And as you said, because it IS a part of you, you won't have to put it aside for other considerations. Somehow the way you handle ur career, kids, family etc will not be affected by your music. You'll see ! :D I predict.
As for your career, I don't know if you've noticed but you already have stumbled onto something - the way you design websites/cards etc. People ask you because they love how you see the world, your "eye for beauty/design etc".
5:20 a.m.
hey sims, thanks :) but you know, no matter what people's intentions are -- ask anyone to whom music is an important part of their life, they'll tell you -- if you want to do it right you gotta forget about family, u can't have both... and these are people who start off saying they'll be the ones who do it all!! that's what i currently feel like -- that i can do it -- but then i think to myself, will i end up not being able to when so many people before me haven't?
as for the design stuff, i dno how good i am actually :P my lack of skills and "a good eye" is the reason i can't charge money for any of it and that's why people ask me to do stuff for em, in my opinion ;)
but at the end of the day, i'm happy - for now :) we'll see where life takes us I guess eh?
hope you find your 'thing' soon!
6:41 a.m.
Hey you,
I was really really happy to read this...it brought tears to me eyes girl!!
You have matured so much (everyone is maturing..this is so great!!! It was so great to read what you wrote...you wrote it well!! couldn't have said it better!!)
Love ya girl
Seema
8:15 a.m.
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